9 months later

It has been 9 months since my world turned upside down. I still to this day miss husband as much, well more, as the day he walked out. I think about him constantly. Everything reminds me of him, of us. We had been together almost 13 years so that is a lot of history that we share together. I don't let my mind travel back to the past as much as I use to but sometimes it happens. 

We truly had a good marriage, other than the few things we lacked in and the fact that we let our marriage go and stopped working on it. We were happy, and had so much fun together. We laughed together more than anything. We were so comfortable with each other. I woke up literally everyday thankful to have him. I was still in awe after 11 years of marriage that he was mine. I would still look at him  and just stare at him and think to myself (which I should have thought out loud more often so he knew just how I felt about him) how lucky I was to be his, and him mine. I love everything about him. He's the most sexy guy I've ever laid my eyes on. I never looked outside of our marriage because no one was better than him. He was a very caring husband and always put me first. He put up with a lot from me. 

I would give anything to have him back in my life. I don't know how he thinks or what he feels because he won't talk to me about anything. He has been shut down since the day he walked out. I wish he would let himself actually hear and feel what I am saying to him. I miss him so very much. I truly believe he is my one TRUE love, and I've lost him.